It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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