I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
