When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
