I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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