I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
