Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
where are my eyebrows?
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