she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
