porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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