Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
