Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
