garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
