I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
