there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
