I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
