You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it's like iHOP with fire
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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