my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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