i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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