420 ftw
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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