you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
