we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
