So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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