I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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