I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
