Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dicks are not precious.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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