Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
