He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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