great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
