Me too!
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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