she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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