Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
