i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
