nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
