let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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