This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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