god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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