Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
