Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
