well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
