D3 body, D1 cock
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I skipped work to stalk him.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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