Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
