I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
