I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My dick has a subreddit
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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