Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
