I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
