who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
