I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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