grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
