We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
