I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
