You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
