he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
