im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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