I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
