just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
